This is What the Apple Tablet Will Be

It's one day 'till the piece of plastic that changes the world: Apple Tablet (or iPad or Slate or Slut or whatever). What will it be? What will it do?

Best Guesses from THOSE WHO KNOW about what the Apple Tablet will be and do:

-A "light" netbook, meant to compete (and blow away, 'natch) the Asus eee, etc. of the subnotebook world.

-A hotspot hopping device, with WiFi but also 3G mobile service (if you want to pay for it).

-For the main uses of portable "computing" (should we even use that word anymore?): Web-surfing/comms (Facebook/Twitter/Email) and video.

-Meant as an entry into the eReader space. But UNLIKE the eReaders, it is not simply a 1-function device. The Apple Tablet will take care of most of your mobile entertainment and communications needs.

-Not meant to replace an iPod Touch/iPhone (won't fit in your pocket or make calls, except on Skype)

-Not meant to replace your desktop or laptop pc. You wouldn't use the Apple Tablet to do hardcore word processing, gaming, or design.

Before I was thinking: I have a big-ass screen iMac, a MacBook, 3 iPods. I resisted the temptation to buy an iPhone (I'm not a big fan of purported "all in one" devices).

Now I am thinking: If this thing is (as rumored) to be SIGNIFICANTLY less than $1000, such as anything approaching $500 bucks, I may just have to get one.

Apple Pwns a Category it Hasn't Yet Entered

Poor little old Microsoft. Do you remember them? They're a company that - wayyyy back - was considered "innovative," basically for stealing GUI ideas, etc. from Apple. They had a product called Windows 7 that they REALLY tried to make people care about. NOW, we know our Apple friends are probably going to announce a tablet/slate computing device (iSlate) or whatever. So, what do the ham-fisted over at Microsoft do? They announce today (at CES, a show that's beyond irrelevant at this point) a TABLET pc with partner HP (remember them? before they were known for only making generic printers and pcs?). It's basically a weak attempt to get their "me too's" and make some marketing noise before Apple steals everyone's thunder. On another point, isn't it interesting how a company like Microsoft is being seen as a "me too-er" for announcing a product BEFORE Apple (even allegedly) is going to market their own? This is a whole area worth delving into. The fact that Apple has now positioned itself to be the leader in categories it hasn't even yet entered. Or, at least pwns the "mind-space" (Apple pwns our mind grapes?) That's some brand!

There's a story on this at the Huffington Post (it's pretty amusing). The best part:

Tablet-style computers that run Windows have been available for a decade [ED: and NO ONE has cared. You had 10 years to do something!], but HP's new machine is bound to draw extra attention thanks to expectations that Apple Inc. will launch a similar device later this month.

Apple, notoriously secretive about upcoming products, has not commented on the matter. But given the iPhone's success, which propelled competitors to come out with copycat touch-screen phones and centralized "app" stores to sell add-on software, all eyes are on Apple to define what a slate or tablet-style computer should look like and how it will be used.

Anyway, go give it a read. Spend 5 minutes contemplating the great, bloated companies involved in this. Pretty soon they will be completely forgotten.

Thanks for reading.
-Jonathan

Slate's 'Ads we Hate' is Great!

Just a quick blurb that Seth Stevenson over at Slate did a great piece (here) on the ads we hated the most in 2009. I was familiar and hated all of these. I also hated a couple that were not mentioned, but that's what the Slate Fray is for. Comment away on your own hated ads!

Ahh, it felt so antidepressing to get that off my chest. But now I'll pass my bottle of pharmaceutical-grade hate to Ad Report Card readers. Tip it back, pop a few hate caplets down your gullet, and join in:

I nominate the recent and most disgusting entry in Charmin's series featuring animated bears doing you-know-what in the forest. Used Charmin still clinging to the buttocks of a not-very-tidy bear?—Kirsten H.

Have a great and hate-free advertising 2010!

Thanks for reading.
-Jonathan